Sunday, June 28, 2009

Still

Greetings Friends!

I am so sorry it has been so long since my last post! Almost a month! I'm sure you may think I have dropped off the face of the Earth, thankfully, though - I have not!

The past month has been one of many struggles. Getting through the CD release was very difficult! I cried and cried and cried! There was just SO much emotion wrapped up in all of it - - - the keen awareness that none of it would have been happening had Chad not died.

Actually . . . that is the reality of ALL of my life right now. As Practice and I begin the transition into a life together . . . wedding plans, house plans, planning for 'our' future, etc . . . it is all seasoned with the awareness deep inside that this is ALL because we lost our beloved. How does one wrestle with that? (smile) I do not have that answer, my friends. One thing I have learned through all of this is to just take one day at a time. Matthew 6 tells us not to worry about tomorrow because tomorrow WILL worry about itself. I have found that to be so true. And so, I just work on getting through today. Some days are filled with so much new joy that I cry with gratitude to the Lord. Some are still laced with the deep bitterness of missing Chad. Each and every one of them are marked by God's continued faithfulness! He is SO good!

Practice is wonderful. 48 days until I get to be his wife . . . but, who's counting?

The biggest struggle of all this past month - and the main reason I have not blogged - is that I have been dealing with some pretty big health issues. The two weeks after the CD release concert were spent in bed. I have become very anemic (again) and my iron levels are VERY low. The purpose of iron in your blood is to carry oxygen to your brain, organs, and entire body. Normal levels are between 37 and 170. Mine is 12 - and I am struggling to keep that where it is without getting lower. There have been days where just walking from my bed to my kitchen (I live in a ranch house) has left me out of breath and struggling to get a good breath. My mind is foggy ALL the time and I struggle to just think straight (no jokes, please!!!!) Anyhow - all of that makes the little things in life seam pretty big some days.

We are working to get it all straightened out. I am taking an iron pill, have received two iron infusions (a four-hour IV of iron straight into my blood), I am doing homeopathic remedies that I have used before and work VERY well, AND tomorrow I begin a new regimen of Chinese Herbs from a specialist in Chicago. I have also seen a specialist here in Midland.

All of that to say - if you think of it, please pray for me! Some days I feel great! Others, I really struggle. I have two concerts and a radio appearance in the next three days and I am feeling very tired and weak! God is always faithful and will give me just what I need! THAT, my friends, is always true!

I will keep up better on this blogging . . . or shall I say . . . I sure will try!!!!

Blessings to you all - - - whatever journey you are on, my friends, keep holding tight to Jesus and keep on keeping on!

Blessings -
Sarah

11 comments:

Karen said...

praying for you, Sarah!

I'm glad that the wedding plans are progressing and I will be praying that your health issues straighten out. (there's nothing more frustrating sometimes that poor health. Ugh.)

blessings,
karen

Cheryl said...

I will continue to pray for you. Congratulations on the wedding coming up. Keep counting down the days. There is nothing wrong with that.

Cheryl

Anonymous said...

You are in my prayers and I will ask my bible study to lift your health up also.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding - I so enjoy reading your blog.

Lori

Ang said...

Praying for you and so excited about your upcoming wedding. You area a very blessed person:)

Cherrie said...

Thanks for updating us...prayers are being sent up for you to get well soon!

Janine (txmomx6) said...

Sarah,
A blog friend sent me your name as a prayer request. I am also a widow (18 months) and am praying for you and your health.
I am also thankful for the joy and happiness that you have found in your "after".
Thanks for sharing .... and thank you for the honor of praying for you.
Janine

David and Kelli said...

Hi, Sarah! As promised, here to send a "hi" and let you know that you're loved and thought of! (See your Facebook inbox if that doesn't make sense..LOL). Also wanted to let you know that I got your CD and listened to it and LOVED it on my drive to CT! Love you and SO proud of you! xoxoxo

Mary said...

Dear Sarah,

Thank you for your blog and for sharing your heart. Today was the first time I've been here and was so blessed. I am so happy for you and your babies and your new babies upon hearing your wonderful news of your upcoming marriage to Jim. God bless all of you.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on all the coming ups for you! I too fight anemia and once I got adjusted silly as it sounds, Flinstones vitamins keep me level!! Crazy I know. (There is sometimes a little tear in the intestines that causes anemia and is hard to detect--swallow test with camera finally showed it). Best of luck.

Lisa said...

Hi, Sarah! I found your blog through a mutual friend, Teresa Shockley. Just read this post about your anemia. Have you been tested for gluten intolerance/celiac disease? I have it. Malnutrition from it can cause pernicious anemia. If you'd like to chat further, you can find me on Facebook. LiveExcellently is my username after the FB URL.

Anonymous said...

Hello Sarah,

You will be in our prayers and I do hope you start to feel better soon. You need to get feeling better for you big day!

I have a product for you to try it heals our cells from the inside out. I tried the product a few months ago and love how it makes me feel. You can go to www.powerofrewel.com or www.univera.com to read more about the products. I really think these products will help you feel better and give you some energy. Which was what I was lacking... Also there is a Doctor's website that I can give you if your interested in it to show your Doctor. I loved the product so much that I became a distributor and will get you some of the product at my cost.

Please email me at judy.koch@century21.com if you would like more information. Also I have some pictures of Noah from
5th grade graduation that I need to send to you.

Blessing to you and your family...

Judy Koch-Gulotty
(Colton's Mom)